When we go through perplexing times in our lives, we often seek advice from friends, family, books, a counselor, or simply google it. Sometimes, that advice can go a long way and actually be helpful. Other times, what seems to make sense, actually leaves us feeling empty, stuck, or just unsettled.
For several years I’ve thought about furthering my education in a doctoral program. Some years of desire have been more intense than others. I love to learn. I think I’ve got good ideas that need space to be developed. I believe the experience would be a blessing to others at Sanctuary and the broader community.
When I brought this proposition to my spiritual director, her questions took a different tone. It’s not that she wasn’t supportive, it’s that she was discerning a deeper desire. Over the next hour, we sat silently, then prayed, then talked, then prayed and then sat silently again.
“Rich, what is the mediation of your heart?”
As I rested on that question, I began to notice places where I felt tension or resistance.
Resistance might seem like a negative, but as my spiritual director said, “Whenever there is resistance, there is likely to be God.” In other words, the resistance is an invitation to join God.
The verses that came to mind were Psalm 1:2-3 “...his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither.”The meditation of my heart was/is to be fruitful.
But Dr. Johnson does have a nice ring to it ;-)
Reflection: