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When we go through perplexing times in our lives, we often seek advice from friends, family, books, a counselor, or simply google it. Sometimes, that advice can go a long way and actually be helpful. Other times, what seems to make sense, actually leaves us feeling empty, stuck, or just unsettled.

We’ve all been there, times when we seek guidance or direction for the way we should go. 

For several years I’ve thought about furthering my education in a doctoral program. Some years of desire have been more intense than others. I love to learn. I think I’ve got good ideas that need space to be developed. I believe the experience would be a blessing to others at Sanctuary and the broader community. 

My brother-in-law just graduated with his doctorate in May. “You can do it, Rich.” he said “Just get started.”

It sounded like just the advice I was hoping to hear. 

When I brought this proposition to my spiritual director, her questions took a different tone. It’s not that she wasn’t supportive, it’s that she was discerning a deeper desire. Over the next hour, we sat silently, then prayed, then talked, then prayed and then sat silently again. 

“Rich, what is the mediation of your heart?”

As I rested on that question, I began to notice places where I felt tension or resistance. 

In its simplest terms, resistance is used to describe when we resist God’s action. 

  • We can resist change, even though it is a necessary part of life.
  • We can resist trying new roles, even when they might strengthen who we become.
  • We can resist letting go or resist holding on, for that matter.
  • We can even resist love, encouragement, and care.

Resistance might seem like a negative, but as my spiritual director said, “Whenever there is resistance, there is likely to be God.”  In other words, the resistance is an invitation to join God.

The verses that came to mind were Psalm 1:2-3 “...his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither.”The meditation of my heart was/is to be fruitful.

Now, this doesn’t mean further education is no longer a desire. What it does mean is that there is something deeper to pursue than another degree.

But Dr. Johnson does have a nice ring to it ;-)

Reflection:

  • Where have you experienced resistance in the past?
  • Where are you experiencing resistance now?
  • What is the meditation (that thing that sits deep in your soul) of your heart?
  • Do you have a spiritual director? We’d love to connect with you.